I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
