I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize