just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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