I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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