I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
