dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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