yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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