i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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