she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
