Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
