i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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