So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
