Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
