This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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