i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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