somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize