One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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