On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
