Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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