i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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