wanna go halves on a baby?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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