every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
