he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
