who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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