you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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