Do you still have your period?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to calm my uterus...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
