What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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