; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
