i permit you to call me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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