So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
