You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
