i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
