He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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