It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
