Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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