it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
