Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
