The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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