dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
