Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
