Kiss
Puke
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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