I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize