Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
