no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
