Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He felt like a one man threesome
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
