We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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