dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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