i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
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Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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