Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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