Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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