try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
