i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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