alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
