i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
