so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
