they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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