Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
