I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
