He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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