your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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