The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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