mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
